7: "Don't Talk to me, I wrote a book!" Expert

The world is full of books. Some of them are worth the paper they're written on. Many aren't.

Writing a book is easy. You sit at a typewriter or a blank page or a PC or any other method of transcribing thoughts to a medium that can be shared. And then, magically, one word follows the next and the next one and the next one. Pretty soon there's a page. Then a chapter. Then a section. And before you know it, a book is born.

Most authors tell you they feel guilty writing because its actually far, far easier than they have made it seem. Many of them feel so guilty they won't even admit that. To themselves.

Writing is spiritual masturbation. It feels good. No-one can interrupt it when in full flow.

The next time this idiot lords his IQ and the fact that he's a published author over you, just hold that vision in your head. Writing as spiritual masturbation.

Him. Masturbation.

Meetings will never be dull again.

Note: Check the size of his forearms. Then you'll know whether it's just spiritual stuff he's into.

Often seen with:	Copy of own book
Tell-tale signs:	Tuts loudly when you draw breath to speak in a meeting Shaking of head whenever you venture a suggestion
Favourite Saying:	"You really don't understand, do you?"
Puts faith in:	Residual sales Framed royalty check for $24.16 from seventeen years earlier